The relationship you have with yourself is the most important, allowing you to accept yourself, be an expert of 'you,' and create your sense of identity. How well do you know yourself? These 100 reflection questions to get to know yourself better will help you learn more about yourself.
Being raised in a dysfunctional family, your parents might not have understood themselves, reflecting your lack of self-awareness. This may be the first time you ask yourself deep questions to get to know yourself, which can be overwhelming.
Getting to know yourself is a lifelong journey; as you age, you evolve. There is no right or wrong order to answer these reflection questions. Take as much time as you need to learn more about your amazing self.
The Importance of Knowing Yourself
Getting to know yourself is a journey. In the business of our lives, it can be hard to take a step back and question how well you truly know who you are. But what do you value the most in life when it comes down to it? Knowing what is important to you lets you keep your goals and values in perspective.
When you know who you are, you learn how to respond instead of reacting. Self-reflection allows you to make value-based decisions instead of drowning in challenging situations and emotions.
Your unprocessed emotions should not dictate your actions. Like lack of awareness, many people raised in dysfunctional families weren't taught emotional regulation. This might be a new area you have started to explore as well. Discovering and understanding your emotions allows you to navigate your life in a direction you want and not the other way around.
Finally, when you know who you are, you can create the life you want—taking the time to reflect on your core values, prioritizing your relationships, learning about your emotions, and creating a life that aligns with your vision.
How To Get To Know Yourself
What a funny question to ask, right? Well, not really. If you are new to this 'who am I' journey like I once was, this question frequently comes to mind. You realize you need to get to know yourself, but how?
You can engage in this self-discovery in many different ways- from pursuing your hobbies to processing your emotions.
1) Journal questions to get to know yourself
Journal questions to get to know yourself. For the longest time, I habitually wrote down any questions that crossed my mind about myself. From reflecting on difficulties with processing a specific emotion to the type of foods I enjoy, I would write about how I truly felt. For example, "Did I really enjoy that meal, or did I say I enjoyed it because my friends did?" or "Why did I get so defensive in that movement?" Having a list of questions to get to know yourself can be an incredible tool.
I also started to pay attention to my dreams. I realized what I worried about more than usual showed up in my dreams, validating my fears. This challenged me to sit with the thoughts and fears, attempting to make any connections between my feelings (patterns, past situations, etc.) and my dreams.
2) Pay attention to your body
Our physical body gives us a lot of information without us realizing it. For example, when there is a shift in your emotion, sometimes you might not recognize the feeling, but you can notice a change in your body sensations. Paying attention to these sensations gives you valuable information about yourself and allows you to pause before you respond.
Ask yourself, "What is the event prompting my emotions?", "Where are the physical sensations the strongest right now?" "What just went through my mind right now?", "What would be helpful at this moment?" "Am I repeating any patterns?"
3) Identify your core values
Your core values are the foundational beliefs that form the foundation of who you are. They can range from integrity and honesty, loyalty and respect, creativity or courage - whatever they may be, they should reflect the qualities that matter most to you.
When making decisions or taking actions, ask yourself if they align with your core values - this will be a helpful guide when trying new things or going down unfamiliar paths.
Read: Living Into Our Values
Therapy is a great way to get to know yourself. Your therapist will help you understand who you are and what is important to you and support you in making value-based decisions.
You will reflect on questions to ask yourself to get to know yourself. With time, you will start becoming aware of your interests, values, ways of processing emotions, goals & aspirations, and most importantly, fostering self-awareness.
Loss of Identity & Dysfunctional Family
If you were raised in a dysfunctional family, you might have started to realize that your parents lacked self-awareness. As a result, they don't know who they are as individual people. Now, as an adult, you might realize you struggle with the same thing as you allow yourself to be defined by others.
There are many roles in a dysfunctional family. When that 'role' is taken away, or you think about who you are beyond that relationship, you experience an identity crisis because your identity revolves around that specific role. You start to question, "Who am I?"
That question can be hard to answer when you find it challenging to separate yourself from who your family is. As someone raised in a dysfunctional family, I struggled to answer these questions despite setting boundaries with family members and creating some distance.
Getting to know yourself is a journey and something that requires self-compassion, patience, and a willingness to sit with your thoughts.
100 Questions To Get To Know Yourself Better
Basic Questions To Get To Know Yourself
1. How would you describe your personality?
2. What are your strengths and weakness?
3. What is your favorite color?
4. What is your favorite food?
5. What do you enjoy about yourself the most?
6. What is your happiest memory?
7. What are your top 3 values?
8. What makes you happy?
9. What is your favorite hobby?
10. How would you describe yourself without mentioning your resume?
Journal Questions To Get To Know Yourself & Your Family Dynamics
11. What is/was your parents relationship like with their own parents?
12. How do your parents handle stress?
13. How do you parents manage their money?
14. Who do your parents choose to surround themselves with?
15. How do you parents make important decisions? How do your parents
make important decisions that involve you?
16. Do your parents have a developing sense of self?
17. Do your parents engage in self-care?
18. What is your parents communication style?
19. How did your parents manage their emotions?
Now reflect on your patterns: Are you repeating the same patterns?
Questions to Get to Know Yourself Deeper: Emotions
20 Are you able to identify your emotions?
21. How you you express your emotions/feelings?
22. How do you manage your emotions?
23. Are you able to explain others how you feel?
24. What are behaviors that make you angry? (sad, happy, fearful etc.)
25. How do you handle conflict?
26. What do your loved ones have to say about your temperament?
27. Are you able to identify the physical manifestations of your emotions?
28. Reflect on your emotional vulnerabilities and triggers.
29. What do you consider your emotional strengths and weakness?
30. What emotions do you suppress the most? Why?
Let's Look At Your Relationship Self
31. What personal values are important to you in a relationship?
32. Describe your relationship with your friends and family.
33. Describe your communication style?
34. How do you set personal boundaries in a relationships?
35. Do you feel valued by your loved ones?
36. Reflect on the importance of a community.
37. Are you able to forgive others easily?
38. Do you surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself?
39. How do you support your friends and family member?
40. How do you define healthy relationships? Unhealthy relationship?
Questions for Your Financial Self
41. How do you feel about money?
42. Do you set financial goals? List them out.
43. How do you manage your money? (Budgeting)
44. How do you feel about investing?
45. Do you have an emergency fund?
46. What is your credit score?
47. Are you saving money for your retirement?
48. Reflect on your financial obstacles.
49. What are your financial strengths and weakness?
50. Reflect on your current financial situation.
51. Do you have any debt? If so, what kind?
Reflection Questions for Your Habit Self
52. Reflect on your personal habits?
53. Do your daily habits reflect your values?
54. Are you able to consistently follow through on your habits?
55. What habits do you want to adopt for 2023?
56. What habits would you like to change?
57. Do you reward yourself for engaging in healthy habits?
58. Do you have a morning and evening routine?
59. What obstacles get in the way of engaging in healthy habits?
60. Does black and white thinking or perfectionism tendencies show up?
Fun Questions To Get To Know Yourself
61. What do you like to do for fun?
62. Do you know what makes you happy?
63. What activities/hobbies you willing to try in 2023?
64. What are some fun facts about you?
65. How do you like to spend your day?
66. What song do you like to dance to?
67. What activity makes you uncomfortable? Why?
68. Is it hard for you to have fun? Why?
69. What is your favorite TV show?
70. What is your favorite movie?
Questions for Your Self-Growth
71. What do you love the most about your life? What do you love the least?
72. How do you feel about making mistakes?
73. When was the last time you took a risk?
74. What are your short-term and long-term goals?
75. What are 3-5 things you want to improve about yourself in 2023?
76. What is a hobby or passion that you have been putting off?
77. What values guide your decision making?
78. What self growth books have you read this past year?
79. Do you enjoy how you spend your time?
80. Who do you spend most of your time with right now?
Let's Reflect Mental Health
81. What steps did you take to care for your mental health this year?
82. What is your relationship with technology?
83. How often do you check in with yourself to recognize and name your emotions?
84. How often do you spend alone time?
85. Did you set any boundaries this past year?
86. How do you manage stress?
87. Do you extend yourself self-compassion when needed?
88. What are your thoughts on therapy? How has it helped you?
89. What are some barriers to therapy?
90. Reflect on your mental health. What resources do you have or lack to support your mental health?
Questions About Your Mindset
91. Do you have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset?
92. Do you have an abundance mindset or scarcity mindset?
93. What does success mean to you?
94. Are you able to appreciate progress over reaching the goal?
95. How do you recover from making mistakes?
96. How do you feel about your abilities?
97. What habit or mindset is no longer serving you?
98. Growing up, what message did you receive about mindset?
99. What are things that hold you back?
100. Do you strive to learn something new every day?
Questions About Self-Love
101. How do you feel about yourself?
102. How do you speak to yourself?
103. How do you show yourself love?
104. Are you able to say yes to things you want and no to things you do not want?
105. Do you celebrate your efforts?
106. How do you handle compliments?
107. What do you do on days it is hard to love yourself?
108. Can you rely on yourself?
109. What does happiness mean to you?
110. What are things/people that give you energy? What are things/people that drain you?
Asking yourself questions to get to know yourself deeper can lead to incredible insights into your life and help you live a meaningful life that you can be proud of.
These reflection questions to get to know yourself better have guided you on how to get started on this journey of improved self-knowledge!
What are some getting to know you questions you can add to your list?